After my first semester in Honduras, I was walking through the Houston airport with one of my co-workers on our way home for Christmas. She turned to me and said, "Do you noticed anything weird?" I couldn't think of anything and then she asked, "Do you notice anyone staring at us?" It was a novel idea, to walk through a crowded room without being subjected to stares and comments from aficionados of the alabaster female form. Since I left Honduras for good, I have enjoyed my blessed anonymity. It's better to be considered mediocre looking than to pick up random suitors on every casual stroll. However, moving to Harlem proved to be the equivalent of a debutante ball.
This morning I was walking to the subway and an innocuous looking man said, "Good morning." That was innocent enough, so I replied in kind. I thought our relationship was over and continued walking. Suddenly I heard a voice behind me.
Foot Fetish Man: Can I have your number please, so we can get to know each other better?
Miss Jill: No thanks.
FFM: Wow! Your feet are really sexy. What size are they? 7? 8?
I should have remained silent at this point, but I have too much pride in my unusually small feet to let them be thus abused.
Miss Jill: No, they are size 6, have a nice day.
FFM: D@#$, that's so sexy! Give me your number and I'll give you a foot massage.
Miss Jill: No. Have a nice day, bye.
FFM: Can I give you my number then?
Miss Jill: No
FFM: But don't you want a foot massage while we get to know each other? I can use lotion.
Miss Jill: No. Please go way.
I thought about giving him my dad's number because he is always trying to get us to massage his feet, but I realized that there were some geographic impediments involved in that plan. I started to do what I should have done in the first place, to ignore him completely. He threatened, "See you tomorrow," and he walked folornly away, presumably to Payless of Harlem.
First of all, that photo is incredibly disturbing. Secondly, I think you need to keep yourself open to new opportunities...especially now that you are keeping a blog. Can you imagine the awesome story you would have had if you actually had given him your number?
ReplyDeleteYou need to see the movie "Yes Man" and you will see what I am talking about.
I love it. I think I knew at some point that smaller feet were sexier, and just forgot... Jill how do you attract these situations, then make them so funny? Will you teach me?
ReplyDeleteSo what you are trying to say is that if I'm ever in New York and start feeling homesick, I should go to Harlem? Got it!
ReplyDelete