Today I am pleased to introduce my friend Cindy, who will be flying across the country to meet an Eharmony match this weekend. For those of you who are interested in breaking onto the online dating scene, but are too afraid to ask, this is your moment. Because of my advancing age, people often ask me if I would turn to online dating. The answer is no. I think that you have to care that you are single to meet people online.
The Perils of Online Dating
In an effort to follow my friend Sara’s* mantra “leave no stone unturned” in the dating world, I recently gave in and joined the successful online dating site Eharmony.com. Thanks to Eharmony, this means literally no stone is being left unturned.
A little background for those of you not familiar to the way the Eharmony world works: you fill out a series of questions based on the way you see the world, and Eharmony subsequently categorizes you into a certain personality profile. Based on your responses and your preferences, you are then given “matches” that are more highly compatible with you than others.
So, every day I get a series of emails saying, “Cindy, we’d like to introduce to you to…Alex”, or Bob, or Jim, or any number of eligible bachelors out there who are supposed to be my potential soul mates.
Now, granted there are a lot of factors unknown about a person when a point and click method is all you get when deciding on something as important as your future companion, and so my own screening methods could arguably be considered a little crazy.
Screening Process 1: Grammatical Errors and Typos
Ok, this may come across as snobbish, but grammar has almost become my number 1 factor in deciding whether to communicate, or continue to communicate with my potential matches. Here are some examples of some unsuspecting men’s profiles:
First message to me:
“hi their ”
What are you passionate about?
“meditation is a great release for me it alows me to realise what it really important”
“I enjoy playig soccer”
Something you want your matches to know about you?
“I have expertice in different aras” (apparently his expertise is NOT spelling)
Nevermind the fact that Eharmony has a page of tips on how to improve your profile that states that grammatical errors and typos are a turnoff. Alright, point made.
Screening Process 2: The Transferring to a New Technological Medium
If, and this is a big IF, the person passes this initial test, we begin what Eharmony deems “open communication”, which is a fancy way of stating that I begin emailing with said match via Eharmony’s website.
The next deal breaker for me is this initial email: “So….do you have facebook?”
It’s not enough that I have an extensive profile of pictures and information about me on Eharmony. I am now being transferred to another website in which to communicate with them. Good thing I paid a membership fee to use a website, just to be transferred to a free one.
Screening Process 3: The Actual Date
Now, I can’t complain too much here because I basically look at this as an opportunity to be paid back the money I invested in online dating. I’ve been feeling particularly business minded when it comes to this stage of the dating game, and so it’s important to consider the amount of money spent on me, and the investment of my time.
Date 1: 30 dollar dinner. Investment of money in Eharmony repaid. Investment of my time worth it? Debatable.
Date 2: Same person as date 1. 20 dollar dinner. At least I’m now in the black. Investment of my time worth it? Definite no this time. Goodbye Match X.
Date 3: 130 dollars toward a plane ticket to meet Match Y. 20 dollar dinner. 10 dollar movie. Investment of my time worth it?
The verdict is still up in the air on this one.
If I actually make it to screening process 4, whatever that may be, I’ll keep you posted.
*Names have been changed to save what’s left of the dignity of those mentioned
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