A Poignant Farewell

February 11, 1981-February 9, 2009

When I first moved to New York, I quickly discovered that this is not the best city/time to hunt for a job. After a few frustrating weeks, I started to wonder if the incredulous, “You moved to New York without a job?” people had a point. As news continued rolling in about massive layoffs throughout the city, I got a little nervous. But not that nervous. because I am crazy and through the grace of God my erratic decision making has never come back to haunt me. I always look back on things that I’ve done and think, “Wow. I’m surprised that I’m not dead.”

So as the fruitless job search continued my sister, Jr., advised, “My husband and I think that you can’t find a job because New York is going to be destroyed and you need to leave (See President Antichrist).” Then I did what any logical person would do: I googled “New York destroyed” and was dismayed to discover from a man who calls himself a “Modern Day Jonah” that we faced nuclear annihilation on February 9, 2009. This struck me as overwhelmingly unfair, because I just got here.

I don’t know how to insert a link, so see for yourself:
http://www.apocalypse2008-2015.com/NYC_Days_Numbered.html

If you just checked your calendars, you will realize that this is my last day to live. Should you be reading this after hearing news of my untimely demise, please know that I am in a better place now. It was better that I went quickly, because the rest of you will face untold horrors and pestilence leading up to the Apocalypse.

Goodbye. If I invited you to this blog, it means that I had no temptation to make fun of you on it, which is the highest compliment that I can give a person. I lived a good life, and it was only fitting that I spent my final days surrounded by crazy people.