In Which Miss Jill is an Unofficial Employee of the City of New York

I am trying to understand a phenomenon that I have been experiencing since I moved to New York: people constantly think that I am an employee of the New York Board of Tourism. Rarely does a day go by when someone does not ask me for directions.

For example, I will be standing in a crowd in Harlem that looks like this,



and inevitably someone (not a white person) will approach me and ask a question such as, "Where is Harlem Lanes?" I have a difficult time believing that I look like a Harlem native.

A few weeks ago I had to go to Queens, and I was a little confused on how to get back to Manhattan. A Russian woman with a preadolescent child approached me and asked for directions. I apologized and told her that I had never been to Queens before and that she should ask someone else. A train approached and I boarded it, but quickly realized that I was on the wrong train and got off at the next station. I was examining the map when I felt a tap on my shoulder. The Russian woman was back and asked, "Why did you get off? Where are you going?" I replied, "Because I don't know where I am. Please ask someone else for directions." I walked away and she followed me. "No seriously," I said. "I don't know what I'm doing." She continued begging me to help her and I continued telling her not to trust me. She persisted for several minutes until I did what any reasonable person would do: I fled at top speed and hid.

My last story took place on a fine summer morning in Washington Heights (a predominately Dominican neighborhood). I was walking down the street and a man approached me and asked, "Do you speak Spanish?" I looked around, noted that I was the only non-Latino in my line of sight and said hesitantly, "Uh, yeah." He smiled. "Great. I need you to tell that man that he is an (expletive deleted) idiot and if he doesn't bring me my (expletive deleted) refrigerator, I am going to (expletive deleted) kill him." I translated, "Good morning, sir. This man is wondering when you will have a chance to please bring him his new refrigerator. He is really grateful."