The Nanny Diaries, The Devil Wears Prada, The Godfather- New York bosses have some serious public relations issues. I have realized that this is because 90 percent of them are the diabolical spawn of an unholy union between Osama bin Laden and Chucky (shout out to the 7th grade personal narrative from which I got that matchmaking idea). Because they are so prevalent, I am going to start collecting crazy New York boss stories from people and posting them from time to time. My friend “Jane” will start us off.
Although my former boss was fastidious about his appearance, he was also a very, very messy eater. He would constantly hand me important documents smeared with pizza sauce or chocolate and pretend like everything was normal. One day I was on the phone with an important client and he burst into my office. I figured that we were not encountering an emergency situation, so I continued talking. He started pacing frantically and whispered, “JANE! Get off the phone.” I said my apologies and hung up the phone. “Ok,” I said. “What do you need me to help you with?” His face red and sweaty with agitation, he yelled, “I sat in some chocolate and I need you to tell me where it is.” It was the most intimate moment possible for a Mormon girl of a certain age as I found myself learning the mysteries of the inner reaches of his thigh. “Ummm…, “I stammered, “I’m pretty sure that you don’t want me to touch you where the chocolate is, but it is in the part of your body that is probably the hardest for you to see.” Exasperated, he fled to the bathroom.
I love this story.
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