In Which Miss Jill Discovers That All Relationships that Bear Fruit are Good

On a road trip my laugh was once described as "an annoying blow horn sound that never stops." It is so distinct and grating that after I left the BYU freshman dorms to go to New York for Model U.N., a girl told me, "I miss you so much that I hear loud phantom laughter throughout the building." I always thought that I should probably work on it to increase my marriageability, but I wasn't very motivated until last night on the M100 bus.

I was laughing with two friends (most likely at my own lame comments, let's be honest). Five seconds later the loudspeaker emitted a psychotic, jackal-like howl. Startled, I said, "Whoa, that sounds familiar. Was that my laugh?"

Several bus patrons pointedly said, "Uh, huh," and I was ashamed after realizing what I had subjected them to.

A snaggletoothed bus patron turned to me and said, "Youse gotta be careful. Those speakers pick up everything. Once my sister and me, wese was talking about makin love with our men and suddenly the whole bus found out what we had done."

Miss Jill: How did you feel about that?

Snaggletoothed Bus Patron: Real embarrassed. I'm 50 years old. I've done a lot. But I still ride the bus, even after that. Can you believe that I'm 50 years old?

Miss Jill (thinking "not 60?"): Oh no, I never would have guessed that.

Snaggletoothed Bus Patron: Yeah, it's hard to believe, because I got me a 42-year-old Baby Daddy.

Miss Jill: Wow, good for you. How did you manage that?

Snaggletoothed Bus Patron: Don't worry about it. At your age, you need to find an older man.

Miss Jill: How old?

Snaggletoothed Bus Patron: 40, at least. Then they have a good job and you don't have to do nothing.

Miss Jill: Good idea.

Snaggletoothed Bus Patron: Now take me, my first Baby Daddy was 36 and I was 16.

Miss Jill (wondering about the statute of limitations): How'd that work out?

Snaggletoothed Bus Patron: Well, I had a baby, so obviously not too bad.