Gypsies, Goldman Sachs executives, telemarketers- being a member of the world's most reviled groups can be difficult. Luckily, you all have been supplanted by a perceived international epidemic: The Emo Lifestyle. For the middle-agers who read this blog, Urbandictionary.com defines Emo as, "Genre of softcore punk music that integrates unenthusiastic melodramatic 17 year olds who don't smile, high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarfs (even in the summer), ripped chucks with favorite bands signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5ths of the face at an angle."
I grew up in the height of the The Age of the Goths and because I went to BYU, I did not even know about the existence of Emos until I became a teacher. I realized that they had achieved the status of a global scourge when a Honduran student invited me to a Facebook group with almost 2,000 members called "Asociacion Anti-Emos Del City Mall (A.A.E.C.M)." It is pronounced a-mo.
Yesterday I was on a fieldtrip with my Turkish posse and a student placed an Ipod earbud in my ear. After I listened for several second to what I perceived to be a Turkish ballad she asked, "Are you depressed yet?"
Miss Jill: Why would I be depressed?
Turkish Hipster: This is the Turkish version of Emo. The lyrics are horrible, they make you want to commit suicide.
Miss Jill: Ummmm... I think I might be immune to the deadly power of Turkish emo lyrics.
Turkish Hipster: My mom's sister was engaged to this guy and it was broken off. For months all she did was sit in her room alone, crying and listening to this.
Miss Jill (still listening): I'm sorry to hear that. I don't want to commit suicide yet. I have too much to live for (waving my hand across a bus full of Turkish teens).
Turkish Hipster: You should also know that they pass out razor blades when you enter the concert so that people can cut themselves. (I would be interested to see if this could be verified).
Miss Jill: Neat.
I think that the obvious comparison between me bravely resisting suicide and Odysseus withstanding the power of the Sirens must be made. I'm not sure if this post has a point and I should be doing makeup right now, but please try to show our Emo brothers and sisters a little more tolerance and love. This is easy for me to say, because I don't think that I have ever met one.
Emos are like Chicken Pox, most people get them when they are kids and then become immune. Getting them when you're old can be an excruciating ordeal.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I'm not the only one who missed the bus on finding out about Emos.
ReplyDeleteRazor blades and concerts don't sound like they mix well. In fact, razor blades and anything but shaving sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Turkish emo. My grandfather Mylonas is probably smiling still.
ReplyDelete