In Which Miss Jill Spends a Delightful Evening Viewing Alacakaranlık*

I’m pretty sure that most BYU coeds have had a conversation along these lines:
Coed One: Oh my gosh, The Backstreet Boys are so fine.**
Coed Two: Let’s send them Books of Mormon so we can marry them.
Coed One: That idea rules.

One of my roommates actually sent a Book of Mormon to Celine Dion, but as far as I can gather from a zealous following of US Weekly, it didn’t hit its mark.

I should have been open minded enough to realize that Mormons are not the only ones open to the classic flirt to convert maneuver. The 11th graders were creating Spanish periodicals and one of the girls was writing an article about Taylor Lautner, aka Jacob Black of Twilight fame. She looked despondently into the distance and I asked her why she was so glum. She sighed, “If only Taylor Lautner would convert to Islam.”

A large percentage of our students live in dormitories, because their parents are still in Turkey. For that reason, teachers are encouraged to reach out to students and spend time with them. It’s really difficult to live so far away from their parents, especially since English is pretty new for most of them. That is how I justify the ignominious fact that I took them to see New Moon on Friday night, because normally I would rather spend a night of passion with Diego Rivera (the morbidly obese geriatric years, just in case he was hot when he was young).

An extra girl decided to come at the last minute, so I had to find a way to get an emergency ticket. We were already in the school van on the way to the theater, so I called my mom to have her reserve a ticket online. She enjoyed the symphony of Turkish performed as the soundtrack to my billing information, because the girls were shrieking from excitement all around me.

When I got off the phone a student shook her head disapprovingly and scolded , “You really shouldn’t have called your Mom.” The other girls nodded in agreement. I asked, “Why is that? Did you want it to get sold out?” “No Miss! She is going to be really sad that she wasn’t invited!”

* Twilight
** I am old.