The stabbing, the lingering smell of urine, the graffiti and broken windows-I do not go to any great pains to mask the fact that my apartment complex is unsuitable for human habitation. As you can imagine, our neighbors don't exactly come for the highest echelon of society, which must mean that neither do we.
Over the summer, the nineteen-year-old model and I were experimenting with glue-on nails that cost $5.99 at the local CVS. We thought that they were pretty high class until the neighbors incessantly complimented them. If my apartment were in the West Village I may have been flattered, but I couldn't trust a person with eight inches of bare muffin top protruding from her jeans.
I experienced my own lapse in credibility the other day while I was riding the elevator yesterday. The woman next to me had beautiful chestnut ringlets and I said, "You should know that your hair looks really good." She laughed and looked at me incredulously. "This is a piece!" she exclaimed. "You know you're white when you can't recognize a piece."
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I read or heard somewhere this story:
ReplyDelete"Do you wear a wig?"
"Yes, why?"
"I never would have guessed!"
ouch!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel bad. One of my African American co-workers complimented the bus driver's hair once on a field trip. The bus driver responded,
ReplyDelete"This is a wig. They made me put it on this morning when I got to work because they told me that I would scare the kids otherwise."
Then the two teachers I was with (both african american) discussed how they never would have guessed it was fake.
I want a piece.... actually I need a piece and a full wig because with each kid I have I bald more and more. Where can you buy those......
ReplyDeleteI once was accused of having an "evil heart and soul" for telling a black girl her hair looked nice (only to find out it was a hair peice.) i guess she thought i was making fun of her????
ReplyDeleteTotal flashback to childhood and watching Big Business:
ReplyDelete"I gotta get me some of those press on nails. Do those things stay on? I wouldn't want 'em floppin' in off in any of those fancy nightclubs!"
(That one quote might have ruined any credibility I had or will ever have.)