On Saturday I stood on the C train, grasping the pole, lost in a book. Suddenly, I smelled something akin to a rotting corpse and a mist of hot, putrid, breath penetrated my hair, hitting my scalp. “Hey pretty lady,” someone whispered into my ear. I turned around and found myself staring into the eyes of a homeless man who was dressed up as a member of the Palestinian Liberation Organization (he was clearly not Palestinian). I involuntarily shuddered and dashed to the next pole.
A group of seated women started laughing heartily and he became angry and snapped, “What you laughing at?” One of the women replied, “That girl be our friend.” “Yeah, she be our friend,” chimed in the others in support. He shot them an icy glare of death and stumbled away.
“Honey, you best watch yourself on these trains,” counseled my new friend. “ There be crazy people all around you.”
She said it with such distaste that I didn’t feel comfortable confiding that that was the subway’s appeal, so I thanked her. The rest of our communication consisted of her telling me to steal a seat from a toddler, because “a baby don’t need no seat as much as you do” and a heartfelt farewell as she exited at 125th. I regret not getting enough information to add her as a Facebook friend, because I’m pretty sure that she would put me in the “Top Friends” box.
come to think of it, last night i had this crazy dream where I was wearing a headscarf just like that one. (only yellow.) maybe I should go start whispering in people's ears on the subway...
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