When I was at BYU my Sarah Palin (ok this was before her political "ascent," but I'm trying to give you an idea) accent would often prompt people to ask me about my state of origin. I always proudly boasted Chicago, even though I'm actually from a suburb. Hey, it's an attitude, not a zip code. The more time I spent at BYU, the more it became obvious that not all answers to the question, "Where are you from?" were created equal and you could gauge the cool factor of your hometown from people's reactions.
Ok, I'm sure that I will be totally off on some of these (I'm not generally the voice of the people), but I'm going to attempt to create a rating scale. Sorry if you are unfamiliar with Utah or BYU, scroll down to other fine reading material. Now I would like to point out that this is not reflective of what I think is cool, just my observations of what impresses upper-middle class religious people of strictly Western European descent.
Uncool
Scale
0- Small towns in Idaho, Montana and Wyoming.
1- Utah Valley or small towns in Arizona, Colorado, Oregon or Washington.
2- Salt Lake Valley and cities like Boise (ok, this is actually my judgment, because I hate when Utahns hate on Idahoans).
3- Texas- Nothing intrinsically uncool, except for your Texas flag hanging in the window of your D.T. dorm room and randomly breaking out into "Deep In the Heart of Texas" (you know who you are).
4- California- Actually a cool place to be from, but you cancel it out by wearing flip flops and a Hawaiian shirt during the Christmas season.
5- South- Especially if you suddenly develop a strong twang that you never actually had when you lived in the South.
6- New England States- No one can deny the popularity of Gilmore Girls in this demographic.
7- Boston and Chicago- Sounds cool even if you went home from school and watched Saved By The Bell reruns all day just like everyone else. Also, anything that sounds even slightly ghetto or edgy.
8- Native of a foreign country besides Mexico.* Plus ten points if you come in contact with anyone who served a mission in said country or did a study abroad program there.
9- Manhattan, Brooklyn or London-WASP Meccas
10- You are the typical upper-middle class white kid, but were raised in Kenya, Argentina or Dubai or some other exotic locale.
Cool
* With Polynesians it depends on how Groeberg the crowd is.
Another contentious regional issue from the freshman dorms was the quandary of what to call someone's pants being ripped off of them in a random humiliating attack. The argument became so heated that I called everyone in the church directory and asked them for their opinion. The main battle was between pantsed and depantsed, but also nominated were hoedowned and shanked. Opinions on any and all of these topics are welcome. The scaled is in rough draft form at this point.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I have always said pantsed, but I really like shanked, if I get to vote by what I consider to be linguistic umph. Also, Hurricane is, in fact, the exception to the uncool scale, so don't knock down the points on my vote because I am from rural Utah.
ReplyDeleteJill,
ReplyDeleteTonight I needed a laugh so I sat down to read your blog... and was NOT disappointed. I read through all the posts on this page, and then was wondering if you had ever posted about college republicans, how could you not have? and more specifically if you'd ever posted about that jeopardy game we played where I didn't know a DANG thing, and just hid behind you the whole time? WHAT SHAME! While I didn't find a post about that, I found a post about the "Bad Pants Boy" and you can add to that "Bad Hair boy too" and remember that chain he used to wear? Like he was some kind of bad a or something? haha. anyway, I had never heard about the impeachment of the state chair. I cannot believe he honestly told you he prayed about it! That is hilarious! Anyway, I am in the mood to talk about this honestly so I might share something on my blog...keep it coming! I love your blog!
I love that you used Groberg as an adjective.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if I thought they were cool, but I was certainly baffled by the kids at BYU who had Hawaii license plates. How'd they get their cars there?
I would like to point out that after hearing your argument I switched to DEpantsed, because it DOES make more sense. My husband however calls it "flagging". He's from the DC area but I've never heard anyone else use that, you need to ask Cole what she calls it.
ReplyDeleteDepantsed. A term I am all-too-familiar with as I experienced the humiliation of it in seventh grade....in a fire drill...in front of the scraggly janitors...and did I mention they were stretch pants and that the boy took the undies with them? Definitely DEpantsed. Sniff.
ReplyDeleteAgree with your scale of coolness. Although if one drove a really nice car and lived in the hoity-toity condos off 9th, then it didn't really matter where one was from. Yes?
Your scale is so true... though I would put California higher up. (I'm biased) I was born in California and lived there until I was in elementary school... but mostly grew up in Utah. At BYU I loved watching the different reactions people would give when they'd ask where I was from and I'd say, "Utah." And their reaction would be "Ohhhh." (As if to say, "You're no longer cool.") But if I'd say, "I'm originally from California," it would turn to, "OHHH!" (As if to say, "Okay, you're now back on my cool radar again.") People are so funny... and predictable.
ReplyDeletei think they should post this on dorm walls at byu - it is SO ACCURATE. i am once again impressed with your ability to discern the deeper truths in social realities, jill.
ReplyDeletehow is brooklyn?! hope it's going well!!
Jacqui, that is the worst thing I have ever heard. And funny, my cousins always lived in off 9th condos.
ReplyDeleteCalifornia was a hard one for me to decide on, because there can be some random animosity towards it from some people. Someone unsubscribed from me after this entry, so I guess that it struck a chord.
Although I have heard "pantsed" more often, I'm capitalizing on this opportunity to advocate for "depantsed". It only makes sense, people.
ReplyDelete@Drea, I'm from DC, too, and I've never heard it called flagging.
I think a helpful distinction should be made between northern and southern california, as I agree with you, Jill, about the random animosity, but my perception was that most of it, at least in the circles I ran in, was directed at SoCal.
I think the pacific northwest should rank closer to New England. Also, I think DC and Philly would fit in the bracket with Chicago and Boston.
I keep getting hung up "WASP Meccas" in number 9. Of course the P in WASP is for Protestant, clearly not something there is a lot of at BYU. And of course Mecca is the religious center for Islam. Of course some did call Joseph Smith the American Muhammad, so maybe it works. Still, a great post.
ReplyDeleteSmall towns in Oregon maybe, but in general the Pacific Northwest has got to rank higher, no? You're right that New England was fabulously exotic. I once had a roommate from Maine. I still haven't gotten over it.
ReplyDeleteAnd it's "pantsed." The same way grapes that have had their seeds removed are "seeded."
Except now I'm not sure because DO seeded grapes have seeds? Or not?
ReplyDeleteHey Jill, do I fit the small town of AZ group? I think the rez is pretty exotic... ;)
ReplyDeleteTodd- I think that Mormons fell into the Protestant category on the last census. It's more the attitude I was going for I think.
ReplyDeleteBridget- I didn't put Northwest on there-I would say 4. It gets knocked down a little because it is pretty common.
Sherene-I have one word for you: Pageboy
my favorites are #4 and #8. i have to say that oregon people are usually cool... at least the ones i know.
ReplyDeleteWhere i'm from we call pulling down an individuals pants as a practical joke "shucking"
ReplyDelete