Taxonomy of Random BYU Students (Part Two)

People Who Go To UVSC/UVU Dances Looking for NCMO (Non-committal makeout)- The fruits of this labor usually took place in the living room after I was asleep, but it seemed pretty effective. This leads to:

Anyone who has ever uses the acronym "NCMO" in a sentence and is not making fun of it. Editor's note- Maybe I should have been less of a prude, because I can think of at least five people who saw their late night lustfest flourish into temple marriage (and some of you read this blog).

Feminine Guys Who Are Trying Really Hard to Be Straight/To Appear Straight-I would share the characteristics, but I don't want to experience a backlash of anger for revealing you.

People Who Claim To “Not Be the Typical BYU Student”- 95 percent of student body

Anyone who thinks it's normal that Pop Corn Popping is sung at football games and that "Duck, Duck, Goose" is a common game at Freshmen Orientation. Editor's Note-I never went to football games, so this was supplied by my cousin. I will say that Freshman Orientation plummeted me into a deep depression until I befriended the other bad attitude kids.

Members of the Honor Code Club (including someone who I know drank alcohol)

People who sold pest control or alarm systems over the summer and now drive porsches (they usually can be found living in Arlington)

The guy who mentions in casual conversation that he was "AP" on his mission. I guess this is a big deal to some people, because I remember someone asking a College Republicans candidate about mission leadership experience. I also remember wondering about the relevancy of that question.

Girls who think that baking cookies for every guy in the ward is the best way to seal the eternal deal (if this has worked for you, please comment)

The self righteous roommate who tells you that Lil' Kim called and she wants her bathing suit back. Whoops, that was me.

Girls who are only getting a degree so they "have something to fall back on." I guess I fell back on that hard.

Girls who don't eat for their entire engagement, because no one outside of a medical office has every seen their body with less clothing than a one-piece bathing suit and shorts since they were five.

Girls with a perma prom do, even at an 8:00 a.m. class.

Men who write Letters to the Editor imploring the women to wear more clothes, so they can fight their carnal urges. I think that these letters will keep coming until the end of time. My Brooklyn born friend didn't believe that these existed and I had to show her-luckily it took me about five seconds to find one.

People who constantly get trapped feeling like the token minority friend. These people also have a high likelihood of showing up in the Ensign conference edition and BYU recruitment brochures.

Guys who wont date girls because they have a cartilage piercing, but spend an inordinate amount of time deleting their web history.

People who weren't allowed to watch the Simpsons as a child- Hmmm I find myself in another category.

Special shout out to my cousin, Brandon, for some of these. I would also like to thank everyone who inspired me.