In Which Miss Jill Is Invited to An Early Cinco de Mayo Party

So some of you long time readers know that my friend Stef and I are so righteous that from time to time we get hit by a little manna. In my defense, I drank that Gatorade when I was unemployed and it was really hot out. We had a similar experience with several unopened packages of Trail Mix.

Now that I have a steady income and a guaranteed Turkish meal every day, I went for quite some time without finding random food throughout the city. However, Stef and I are 2 for 2 this week.

Yesterday she told me on gchat- "story u will enjoy:
today on my way to the bathroom at the convention center i saw 4 huge bags of mcdonald's food. so i looked in them they were full of hash browns and mcmuffins (which i don't even like) i brought them home. my only regret is not taking the bag full of ketchup packets. i could've refilled my bottle at home w/ those......i hate to see a missed opportunity."

Then, lo and behold, when I got off the N train today, I realized that someone had accidentally left behind the food that they bought for a fiesta:



I didn't take it, in deference to my mother, who I was sure would hate such a thing. This is a terrible segue, but today I was on the subway and started thinking about it.

Things My Mom Hates

Garbage Pail Kids- Mom, do you even remember those?

Garage Sales/Flea Markets
The Simpsons
Bathroom Humor and any way of saying that you are going to the bathroom besides, "I am going to the bathroom." Actually, I also cringe when people say, "I gotta pee." Have some class.
Going to bed after 9:30
The word "ain't." When I was a little kid, I thought that only the most vile, insidious people on Earth would ever use that word.
WalMart
Not wearing makeup
The word "butt"
Miracle Whip
Watching G.I. Joe or Transformers if you are a girl
Teenagers
My brother told me "Whole Milk," but doesn't everyone hate that?